Spiritual Abuse: Weaponization of Religion

I have spent the past several years studying how religious survivors navigate abuse, as well as working in my front-line practice with multi-faith survivors. Also, I am currently completing a federally funded constructivist grounded theory study exploring the deeper process involved when religious women disclose abuse or leave abusive relationships.

When abuse and religion intersect, the experience often takes on a different and more complex form; one that can further erode a survivor’s sense of identity.

Religion itself is not the problem. For many, faith is a source of meaning, comfort, and belonging. However, within abusive relationships, religious language and values can become weaponized and used as tools of control. Ideas such as keeping the family intact at all costs, viewing disclosure as sinful “gossip,” or misapplying narratives of forgiveness and martyrdom may keep survivors trapped in suffering that is framed as spiritual growth.

The power of belonging to a community is profound. The fear of being judged, excluded, or othered can make leaving feel impossible. At times, religious leaders may unintentionally spiritualize the abuse or misunderstand the psychological and safety risks involved in these situations.

Spiritual abuse can unfold across multiple layers of a survivor’s life—emotional, social, and spiritual. In fact, there is not one universal definition of spiritual abuse; it is fragmented along sociological, psychological, or theological understandings. If the literature cannot offer a universal definition, then, in turn, this impacts how one responds to survivors.

A person’s sense of self becomes diluted over time. Community connection feels threatened. Even one’s relationship with G-d or spirituality may feel contaminated.

My work, alongside the resilience of survivors themselves, is centered on reworking, reintegrating, and reclaiming:

• personal agency

• a coherent sense of self

• meaningful community connection

• and authentic spiritual or existential grounding

Healing is possible—without abandoning resonance, identity, or belonging.

If you are navigating coercive control, spiritual abuse, or the painful intersection of faith and harm, you are not alone. Support is available through trauma-informed virtual psychotherapy across Ontario.